It’s easy once you know what you’re looking for.
I found my purpose by reading between the lines. I wrote about it in my previous post (Finding the purpose). Knowing this, and reflecting on this, tells me that’s it’s always been there.
It’s not always easy to see what’s right in front of your eyes. This is even more so if you’re afraid of what you’re (not) seeing. You see (no pun intended), for many years, I thought that I was really bad at communicating with others. Well, in certain circumstances there wouldn’t be a problem. But especially in my professional life, I actively shied away from doing it, purely from fear I’d make a fool of myself. In stead, I nurtured my introverted self, which meant I would spent many hours staring at a screen. But it made me unhappy.
There have been a few situations where I was able to tap into the need for communication and connection, even in the workplace. And while it scared the bejesus out of me at first, I always very much appreciated what had happened afterwards. And when others then complimented me on what I’d done, that made it even better.
I have finally come to understand that I got this, but that I’ll have to work even harder on overcoming my fear. I can achieve this by doing more of what I’m scared of. By accepting that I might not be perfect at it at first, but that I can only improve if I adopt a growth mindset. (Honestly, it’s one of the reasons I joined Toastmasters some 3 years ago.)
But most of all, I need to keep in mind the positive feedback I got, even when I did something that I thought I wasn’t any good at! We tell ourselves stories all the time, and unfortunately, we’re much better at telling negative stories than positive ones. Who do I think I am?
You are you, and I am me. We’re all much harder on ourselves than on each other. But I reckon it’s time to (reluctantly, perhaps) get rid of the shackles of my limiting self-beliefs, and to finally start believing that others do see something in me. Simply put, I should listen to others more.
Finally, I’d like to extend both my heartfelt appreciation and apologies to those who see something in me: thank you so much for believing in me, and my sincere apologies for not believing you sooner.